My Story
Everything we want, is on the other side of fear.
At the age of 30, I was a high achiever in Tech Sales for 15 years. I had everything I wanted. I was healthy, financially secure, confident and in a loving marriage.
I was rushing everywhere, living the highs and lows of a Sales career, thriving at work not thinking anything was wrong. I was being successful from a place of auto-pilot. .
For me success was work related, it was financial freedom. I was shocked to discover it wasn't enough to make me happy. At the time, the only thing I could think of being to blame for having everything I wanted but not feeling happy, was my relationship. Isn't it always easier to blame someone else?!
Transformation is messy in the middle.
I thought I had found the answer. But no. I exhausted myself with trying to hit target consistently, ignored chronic stress signs, focused on pleasing everyone, living to my high expectations and trying to be perfect at work and at home.
After a second divorce, being a step-mum, a miscarriage, burnout, and a traumatic event and health scares, I hit rock bottom.
I had been living a life I thought I "should" want based on beliefs created in my childhood but these didn't make me happy. This is because I had never been honest with what I really wanted for myself. I didn’t know who I was when I wasn’t pleasing others. This led a lot of resistance and drama in body, my relationships and my life. I became weak, trapped in an unhealthy relationship, a former shadow of myself on a path to self-destruction.
The life I had created wasn’t aligned with the deeper essence of myself. I committed to heal myself, which took me to Bali and Thailand. I learnt about trauma recovery, learnt to reset new beliefs and habits needed to create a life I actually wanted for myself which would be good for my mind, heart and body.
We don’t know, what we don’t know.
Following a 5 year recovery period focusing on healing my body, balancing my emotions and self-discovery to understand what I was getting wrong. This is when I discovered that:
95% of our thoughts, feelings and actions are subconscious
I was shocked to discover that based on my subconscious inner wiring and life experience, the drama in my life was always going to playout due to earlier life trauma. This was a huge revelation.
When we become self-aware, we see more of our subconscious behaviours, so we become more informed to make better choices. Life then becomes a series of conscious choices. Instead of being controlled by our auto-pilot subconscious programing from early life experiences, we can choose to overcome and change this programing to respond more consciously and make choices which serve us better to create a life we "choose" for ourselves.
Self-Knowledge us Self-Empowerment
I had to go from feeling numb, being cut off from my emotions, being a machine but performing very well; to a burnout, trauma, losing my home, feeling overwhelmed by emotions and a long recovery process to learn how to reconnect to my feelings, my body and my soul to manage my well-being and build healthy relationships.
I believe prevention is better than cure. We should have access to self-knowledge more easily to learn to better handle prevent difficult times.
The journey of learning to align with our true self is how we can truly perform from well-being.
Today I know how to feel centered by consciously accessing a state of calm when I need to make conscious choices and over ride unhelpful unconscious patterns.
The feeling of being aligned while temporary, is magic. Everything feels lighter, things comes easy, self-doubt disappears and things just flow. For me the game of life is learning to access and stay in this state more and for longer every time while connecting with others.
I understand that I am not a victim of my upbringing which programed my sub-conscious mind. Today, I create my own reality. It is my responsibility to create my own happiness.
Fell Better. Live Better. Work Better.
The real gift of this story for me is that I can now be of service to others who wish to step into their power because I have come back from rock bottom and transformed my personal and my professional life multiple times.
Having discovered that 95% of our thoughts, feelings and emotions are subconscious, I have now made it my business to help people better understand their conscious and subconscious mind because the quality of our mind determines the quality of our life and yes we can change it!
After, building my confidence back and after years of healing, professional training and coaching certification, I now support the path for others to recover, reset and rise with personal development and transformational coaching. I have created services to make the self-knowledge I wish I had earlier in my career more accessible to all.
Thank you for your attention and interest. Feel free to reach out if I can add value in anyway.
My qualifications
15 years successful International Tech Sales
Ex LinkedIn, Ex Equinix, Ex Rackspace
International Coaching Federation ACC Certification 400hrs+ soon to be PCC.
NLP Practitioner
Process Communication Model Trainer & Coach
Gestalt Psychology Trained
BSc (Hons) Sports and Exercise Science from Loughborough University
200 hrs Yoga Teacher Training – Breathwork & Meditation
Bi-Lingual in French and English
My life experiences and recovery!
“Transformation comes from becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable.”
— Lauren Cartigny