The Courage to Be Seen
Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash
The Courage to Be Seen
"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen." – Brené Brown
Who loves Brené Brown?! I do! She reminds me to be kind to myself.
This is why.
Letting ourselves be seen is one of the scariest things we can do. We grow up learning to be the same as everyone else. We grow up with the "have to's," the "must do's," the "should do's." We can forget what being ourselves actually feels like.
And the cost of this? We become performers in our own lives. We perfect the art of showing up as the version we think the world wants to see, rather than who we actually are.
A Personal Note
I am ready to be seen.
I've been on and off with public speaking and social media over the last 3 years, struggling to juggle working, coaching, digitalising myself, self-care and creating a life for myself.
I know what it's like to hide. To worry that showing up isn't "perfect enough" or that I don't have it all figured out yet. To feel the pull between wanting to share and feeling overwhelmed by all the things on my plate.
But here's what I've learned: waiting until everything is perfect means staying invisible. And staying invisible doesn't serve me or the people I'm here to help.
So I'm practicing what I preach. I'm taking small steps. I'm letting myself be seen, even when it's messy and imperfect.
As I get started again, aiming for progress and consistency, my invitation to you to do the same.
When was the last time you asked yourself: How honest do I actually feel about this?
What would your opinions really be if you didn't care about how others would judge or punish you for speaking your truth?
This isn't just a philosophical question. It has real implications for how we show up at work and at home.
Think about it. How many times have you sat in a meeting nodding along when you actually disagreed? How many times have you said "I'm fine" when someone asked how you were, even though you were struggling? How many times have you dimmed your light because you worried about being "too much"?
These moments add up. They create a gap between who we are and who we present to the world. And that gap? It's exhausting to maintain.
Being seen doesn't mean taking all our guards down and hoping for the best
I know what you're thinking. This sounds terrifying. Vulnerable. Risky.
But here's what I've learned: being seen doesn't mean becoming emotionally exposed with no boundaries. It's not about oversharing or being reckless with your vulnerability.
It's about taking one small step at a time.
Brené Brown's research on vulnerability shows us something powerful: vulnerability isn't weakness. It's actually the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change. But our conditioning tells us the opposite. We've learned that being vulnerable means being in danger.
So we build walls. We create personas. We perform.
And somewhere along the way, we lose touch with our authentic selves.
3 Ways to Practice Being Seen:
The good news? You don't need to make a dramatic transformation overnight. Small steps count. Here are three simple ways to start:
Share your real opinion in a conversation, even if it isn't the same as everyone else's or isn't appreciated by another person in the room. You don't need to be confrontational. You can simply say, "I actually see it differently..." and share your perspective. Notice how it feels in your body when you speak your truth instead of staying silent.
Wear that dress or trainers you love, but you worry about what others may think because of whatever reason. Maybe it's too bright. Maybe it's not "professional" enough. Maybe it doesn't fit the unspoken dress code of your workplace. Wear it anyway. Notice how your confidence shifts when you honour what makes you feel good.
Stop yourself from pretending you're fine when you're not. This doesn't mean you need to share all the details with everyone. But it does mean giving yourself permission to be honest. When someone asks how you are and you're struggling, you can say, "Actually, I'm having a tough week" or "I'm working through some challenges right now." You'll be surprised how often people respond with genuine support instead of judgment.
These small acts of authenticity? They're actually acts of courage.
And here's what I love. That great feeling you get afterwards when you realise you were worrying for nothing! The relief of just being yourself instead of performing a version of yourself you think others want to see.
The transformation happens in the small moments
I've watched this unfold countless times in my work, and am a testament to this to myself. When we take that first step to share their real opinion in a meeting, or admit that we are struggling instead of saying "I'm fine", something shifts.
Not just externally, but internally. The goal is to ask for help without feeling a victim, guilty or shame. One courageous small step at a time, these feelings become less intense over time as we recondition our mind to feel safe in unfamiliar behaviour.
Because each time we choose authenticity, we're rewiring our subconscious beliefs about safety. We're proving to ourselves that we can survive, and even thrive, without the mask.
Our subconscious mind has been running a programme: "Being myself = danger. Conforming = safety."
But every time we let ourselves be seen and the world doesn't end, we update that programme. We create new evidence that contradicts the old belief.
And over time, being authentic becomes less scary and more natural.
This is what self-awareness creates: a series of conscious choices instead of being controlled by our subconscious mind to lead a life we think we "should" live. We create a life we "choose" to live.
The practice of self-compassion
As you start this journey of being more seen, remember to be kind to yourself. Some days you'll feel brave and authentic. Other days you'll retreat back to the safety of your mask. Both are okay.
This isn't about perfection. It's about practice and progress.
There's no finish line where you're suddenly "authentically yourself" all the time. It's an ongoing practice of noticing when you're performing versus when you're being real, and gently choosing authenticity more often as you feel more safe to do this.
Give yourself permission to take baby steps. Celebrate the small wins. And when you catch yourself hiding, don't judge yourself. Just notice it with curiosity: "Ah, I'm wearing my mask right now. That makes sense. This situation feels scary."
That awareness alone is powerful to be kind to yourself when you notice yourself not being authentic. After all, if authenticity was so easy, we would live in a much more harmony world, and as Swiss Psychiatrist, Carl Jung reminded us:
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” Carl Jung
Your Self-Insights for this week
As you move into your week ahead, I'd love for you to notice:
• What is your favourite Brené Brown quote when you want to feel inspired to be you?
• When did you last let yourself be seen at work or at home?
• What concern come up reading this?
• What is one small step you could take this week to be more authentic?
Remember: you don't have to figure it all out at once. One small act of courage is enough.
Start small. Maybe it's speaking up in one meeting. Maybe it's being honest about how you're really feeling with one person. Maybe it's wearing something that makes you feel like yourself.
Whatever it is, trust that you're exactly where you need to be on this journey.
Be kind to yourself this week.
If you believe change is possible, and have decided to make an investment in making a change in your life, follow me on Youtube, LinkedIn and visit The Self-Science Lab for more info.
Join my Reset and Rise weekly workshops or book a discovery call to see if 1:1 coaching might support your transition.
Lauren Cartigny, a Life & Business Coach and Mindfulness Practitioner
Following a successful international corporate career in Sales for leading Tech firms, Lauren faced an unexpected burnout, life and health crisis. After re-building her life, transforming her career, and healing her body, heart, mind and remembering her connection to Spirit, Lauren has created transformative coaching and experiential workshops to support you in improving the quality of your life and your career by developing Self-Leadership skills..